Here’s something I have learned. You, as a bride, do not need a wedding day timeline.
You know who does need one and therefore makes you think you need one? Your vendors. Your vendors are lost without the timeline. The deejay needs to know when to introduce the happy couple and needs to know what time the first dance will take place and when you’ll toss your bouquet. Your caterer has to know when to serve each course, when you want to cut the cake, and what time they have to break down the bar so you don’t get charged extra.
Guests probably like timelines too. They can figure out the best time to leave. Hmmm, okay, if they cut the cake at 8:45, we can bolt right afterwards!
This makes me sad. We all know that we live in an overly-scheduled world. Kids don’t just go out and play. They have scheduled playdates. We all claim that we’re so busy and so stressed that we don’t have time for anything else. We’re so busy on our wedding day, that we need to schedule things by the minute.
So, instead of having a planner shuttle you from one scheduled event to another, focus on spending time with your guests. Try to eliminate as many vendors as possible that way you don’t stress about time overage charges. Try to get a venue that will allow you the freedom of renting it for a few days, like a private residence or a campground.
The last thing you should feel on your wedding day is rushed. And the only reason you’d feel rushed, is because other people will be telling you where to go and when.
Wait. Me, the compulsive planner, is advocating NOT PLANNING? Dude. Well, no. In the end, I know I’ll have some sort of rough timeline. But most of that will be for pre-wedding activities (when to wake up, when to shower, when to get hair done, when to start “first look” photoshoot, etc.) But, for the ceremony and reception, I’d rather just go with the flow.
Just a thought. We’ll see how that works out!
2 comments
I respectfully disagree. Here’s something I’ve learned – you, as a bride, DO need a timeline! In order for your day to run smoothly, you do need a timeline. An order of events. Your wedding day timeline is to keep everything – and everyone – on track. Surprisingly, for weddings and parties, people need to be told what to do, when to do it, and where to go. When you host a dinner party at your home, guests like to feel that there is an order to things…that there has been something planned. Otherwise they just sit around twittling their thumbs and wondering in the backs of their minds if the host/hostess is really in control. When there is a schedule – an order of events – it shows!! Going with the flow shows that you’re just winging it and guests feel uncomfortable when they sense that. I’m totally serious!
For example: the “B” word – Budget. People hate that word because they feel it’s limiting or restraining. Actually it’s not – it provides freedom. When buying a home, a smart couple gets pre-approved for a mortgage amount. Once they get that amount, they have the freedom to look at ANYthing in that price range. It provides peace of mind knowing that they know they can afford payments. A schedule provides the same thing. It provides freedom. Freedom from stress and freedom to enjoy your day. Really!
If you do not want to stress about a schedule – you should get a coordinator for your day. Your coordinator/planner will be the one to stress about the schedule so you can enjoy your guests. But you must realize, when you say you want to enjoy your guests – they can’t stay all night! Some get tired. In your case, some may get cold. There will be some who will stay all the way to the end, but most will leave after some time. Your photographer can’t stay all night even if she/he isn’t on a pre-set schedule. The food can’t stay out all night either. A schedule is setting a goal of when you want things to happen and it’s respectful to your guests. If that is something you do not want to deal with, then hand it off to someone else who will.
If it’s more time with your guests you want, then promote your event as a weekend getaway and make a point to do things with your guests on Thursday or Friday during the day. Maybe you could all go somewhere on Sunday for brunch together to spend more time with them.
If you’re feeling rushed on your wedding day, it’s most likely because the schedule wasn’t done well to begin with OR there isn’t a schedule at all which creates rush and chaos. I tell brides to “pad” their schedules because things just take a little bit longer when it comes to weddings. This eases the rushed feeling. When we, TaylorMade Weddings, draw up our wedding day schedules, we have times listed all the way up to the processional. After that it’s all approximate. My schedule says things like, “approximately 30 minutes after X, do X.” This allows us to gauge the crowd and how things are flowing – but it is still a schedule. In order to control a group of people, there must be some sense of organization in order for things to move smoothly. Your guests will certainly notice the difference. Read “Committed 110%” http://www.taylormade-weddings.com/dnn/Testimonials/tabid/62/Default.aspx
Just a thought! 🙂
[…] the DC area without emptying her and her fiance’s savings accounts.” A recent post, “Wedding Day Timelines Are For Schmucks” caught my attention and here is my response to her […]